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Pages: I am not married, but my BF of 10years is [1]
Author Topic: I am not married, but my BF of 10years is

Posts: 29

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2012-01-17 22-06-12

I am not married, but my BF of xyears is He just told me tonight that I need to get more hours at work because he is moving in with his best friend on Feb. xst. We have had hard times, but things have been so much better lately. He said he knew that, but that was the problem. He said that his new job is stressful, and he needs to figure out his life again. He says there's clearly something wrong because I have gotten better, and now that I am doing everything he thought he wanted, he is worried because he is still not happy. He is my first bf ever, and I have no ex's, so I am on very unstable ground right now. Sorry to babble here, but I have no one to talk to. I have to work tonight at x, very soon I have to leave. I am not close to my parents, my mother doesn't speak to me and has never met our daughter. If I my sister, she likes her gossip, so I may as well my whole family and let them poke at me. My mother stopped talking to me because she hated my BF x years ago, I'd love to share this with her right now. I have few friends, I'm just not a social butterfly. My best friend was not answering the phone tonight. My brother is working. I'm just feeling so alone right now...
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Posts: 53

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2012-05-09 15-35-59

I am very sorry. A break-up is very hard and can be as painful as a death. You will need some kind of support in this situation. It is too bad that your family can't be counted on. This forum has some nice people but you may run into some very mean people too. You might be surprised how helpful a support group or a counselor can be. You can also read things on-line that will help you. Try googling breaking up without breaking down or similar search terms. Best wishes,
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  • wachsmuth

    Posts: 41

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    2012-07-21 23-18-59

    My most painful breakup was with a man that I lived with for over ten years but never married. It was just awful how I hung on and wanted that man back. I got him back a few times. Each time ended with yet another painful break-up and painful longing for him. I finally realized that I had to let go. Based on my experience I would advise you not to go through the getting back together and then breaking up again phase and just make a clean break. I am happy now and I have someone else and I never thought I would be. I thought I was too old, too fat, and not pretty enough to get anyone as good as he was but I was wrong. You will get over it and you WILL find someone new and BETTER.
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    Posts: 38

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    2012-08-01 6-27-10-

    Thank you I do feel that I will not be dating for a very long time. I have never met a guy I liked as much. I also know that I am nearing x, and have a x year old daughter, so I'm hardly a hot commodity on the "scene". I have lost xlbs since September, so I guess I've got that working for me. I will try to be careful of the on again off again relationship, it won't be healthy, not for the grown-ups, not for our daughter. But I just don't want him to go...
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    2013-04-06 10-36-20

    Why, because he doesn't want to be with her then "he doesn't have his act together." What a bunch of happy horseshit. Maybe he does have his act together and is leaving because he does. Don't assume that just becuase he is leaving he is in the wrong. He could very well be in the right and doing what is right by leaving.
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    Posts: 19

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    2014-02-08 6-32-56-

    Regarding your with boyfriend I am not sure about your state, but is is a generally universal support rule that if both parents are not cohabitating that support should be calculated for the parent with custody. Assuming you will have full custody, or even more than x%, and that he 'ordered' you to get more hours at work because his income is making up a large chunk of the household budget currently- He needs to help support his daughter. Check online when you get a chance for your state and county for the exact rules and formula, and don't forget that daycare costs are usually on top of the formula (especially since it sounds like you work nights which makes daycare more expensive and difficult to find). I'm sorry this has happened to you both :(
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  • kempker

    Posts: 5

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    2014-06-24 5-36-37-

    Pull yourself together and get support Don't waste too much time; file for Support right away. This will help take some financial stress off the situation. Don't fantasize about getting back together. I'm sure there is more to this story; perhaps something you're not aware of. You're still young. Get a plan to succeed. It's hard to believe your mom hasn't seen your daughter. She must be a stubborn women with serious mental issues. Don't focus on a new relationship; instead focus on your daughter and your job (or going back for a degree..etc..) When the time is right your will find some You can and will handle this. Remember that. Good luck
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    2015-07-13 11-31-57

    I will not her Certainly not now, anyway. Leaving my daughter with no Grandmother because of a guy, obviously I'm mad at her for even more reasons, but maybe what isn't mad at their mother? The bottom line is, I will get a "told you so" from her, even though my relationship lasted longer than all x of her marriages. My world is falling apart into something I do not recognize, but I will not include her crap on top of the rubble.
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    Posts: 53

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    2015-10-27 4-52-21-

    Help Call your Mom
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    Posts: 68

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    2016-04-18 21-50-49

    Help Part II Your Mothers' instincts were right It's a God given gift for women. They can detect when something isn't right. She knew your boyfriend was and is a loser, and a user. He would't commit to marrying you x years ago. He wouldn't commit to marrying you when you were pregnant, and now he wants out. You maybe afraid toyour mother, but it's the bestto make. She will understand. She has been afraid he would hurt you and now he has. What mother doesn't want to see her grandren? He's not your boyfriend, he's your pimp. Sorry to be so stong, but he's been usuing you for x years. He's not ready to be a man. You need to find someone who is. Maybe he will step up and be a man someday, but not today. Today he is showing his true selfish cowardly colors. Humble yourself before God and He will lift you up.
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