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Pages: advice needed [1]
Author Topic: Advice needed
schlicht

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2011-02-08 14-39-43

advice needed Ok, here it goes My bf once had anal sex with a man (he was the bottom). This was 2 yrs before we started dating. He also once gave a bj to a man, but aborted it early as he was not enjoying it. He told me all this when we started dating. He says he is turned on by the act of submission. I wanted and want to fulfill all his desires and so we have anal sex with a strap on. Turns out i love it. He has assured me many times he is not gay, he loves women (tits especially). But... the other day I found mtf transexual porn on his computer. i asked him and he said that its hot but not something he wants (same as gay porn). He said he sometimes looks or thinks about it when super horny but after that its done (filed back in the mental roladex as he said). I worry though....
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ier

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2011-02-09 3-59-37-

why worry?
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Cosette

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2011-02-09 16-35-33

i know.. Because I really love him, hope he's not in denial... part of me says its stupid, he has been honest about his fetishes and told me to ask any questions I have. I guess i worry that we'll be married and he'll find he needs more than a woman can offer (maybe its all those horror stories of men "discovering" they are gay at 40)
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  • reffett

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    2011-02-10 9-36-12-

    It is possible It is possible that he may decide he needs something you can't offer someday. But it is not something you can predict or control. My wife and I have been togther 30 years. At this late date, I find I need to explore my bi side. But I do not love her any less, and yes, we have still good sex. It sounds like you have good communications going with him, so just concentrate on the love, and don't worry about it.
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  • graciano

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    2011-02-10 13-16-35

    It's ed bisexuality. He may only have passing thoughts and desires for another man. Just like you may have passing thoughts about another woman. It seems that if he's told you about all of this upfront, he's not likely to go behind your back. And maybe sometime you can engage in a MMF 3 some. And porn? Sheesh. I look at all kinds of things that I find interesting and/or arousing, but have no interest in actually DOING.
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    Johnath

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    2011-02-11 5-56-09-

    true story thanks, i honestly have thought about a woman (also when very horny) but i have no desire to do it with as for being bi, i asked him if he identifies with that and he has told me that he just wants to be with women and both times with a man were so so, its just the thought. I guess i asked because i feel alone in this. Kinda hard to bring up "i found tranny porn on my boyfriend's computer" with your friends :)
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    tegtmeyer

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    2011-02-11 18-32-47

    some times? Hi -- I am a hetro man (age 40 no less); I have thought about being with other men from time to time, have even looked at tranny porn and found it sort of hot, even thought about being with a TV etc. I have also had a few experiences with other men (although not recently) and might consider doing it again. So I guess you could say I am 90% hetro but also don't feel the burning need to go out an satisfy that other 10%. Its a fantasy, that given the right circumstances I could act out on but don't feel the need. After my experiences with men (which were not that involved) I thought they were not that great as well. Not sure where your BF falls, but it is a good sign he is open about it with you.
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    kreuzer

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    2011-02-12 11-12-14

    I wouldn't worry! He's being honest with you, and not trying to hide anything. It may be that he will eventually want to explore further, but from what he's said, he's already done some exploration and didn't enjoy it as much as he enjoys the fantasies about it. I've occasionally fantasized about being with a guy...or rather some guy's cock. I doubt I'll ever actually take the steps to bring that into reality because I'm not actually attracted to men. I've watched tranny porn on occasion too...because it's sometimes hot and because it's interesting. And even if I do discover a guy that I'm attracted to, I'm VERY strongly attracted to women and I can't imagine ever having that attraction wane. Realistiy it's just a fantasy (and an occasional at that) to add some spice.
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  • kimberling

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    2011-02-14 12-40-50

    The more he knows you are okay with his fetishes, the more likely it is that he won't hide things from you that will severely damage your relationship. My boyfriend more than dabbles with the MtF TranPorn, and he has said he'd be interested in a MMF threesome some day... He's more heterosexual than I am (I identify as bi) and I'm not about to go running off with other women 'cause I am missing breasts or anything... Really, if you trust him (that means believing him when he says your womanly powers of domination are hot as hell) and if you trust in yourself (your womanly powers of domination are hot as hell, dammit) you have no reason to worry, really. (Although you will, I find that part of being in love is worrying about someone and their happiness /ALL/ the effing time. You seem to be more worried about his happiness in the relationship than in his sexuality, good girl.)
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    Sales

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    2011-02-15 7-57-20-

    Since he's honest about it... I wouldn't worry. If he were trying to hide it or deny it, you might need to worry. It sounds like he's just open-minded. I think a lot of people get wrapped up in having to classify people by who they have sex with or are attracted to. Everyone knows that's a part of a relationship but that's not all there is to it. I think it's more a matter of who you can love. I can imagine being with a guy but not loving in the same way I would a woman. It could be that I haven't met the right guy, but I'm very strongly attracted to women and not so much to men so I doubt it. As long as you are sure he loves you and is attracted to you, then I wouldn't worry about it. A relationship needs both. P.S. he's a lucky bastard!
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    Peta

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    2011-03-26 9-13-13-

    re:advice needed He is bisexual. Plain and simple. Can you handle that?
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