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Pages: welcome :) [1]
Author Topic: Welcome :)
stoyer

User
Posts: 2

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2011-02-08 17-00-16

welcome :) There are a lot of different ways to come out, and it depends on the context. Are you coming out to your friends for the first time? Co workers? Family? Flirting with someone you're interested in?
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zena

Sexy
Posts: 4

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2011-02-09 9-50-59-

Thank you Actually I have only told friends, and that is the way I prefer to leave it as of yet. I have a weird family history, and well I know acceptance will never be there. IT has taken everything in me to get to this point even though I have known for a while. My co-workers...lol...I would not dream of it. I have no idea how to flirt with another woman that I am unsure as of whether they are lesbian as well. I do not even know where to go to get help and advice on meeting and being with women. I have only ever been with woman completely.
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  • alysia

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    Posts: 7

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    2011-02-10 4-41-55-

    give it time. Lots of time. You are now experiencing: Lesbian Puberty! The exciting, awkward and terrifying period of time where you grow into your new queer/lesbian skin. There will be growing pains involved, but it'll turn out just fine in the end. My advice: Give yourself the time to experience this period in your life without pressuring yourself to live up to some external standard. Now is a great time to build your support network. If your straight friends are supportive - GREAT! But it's so important to have fellow queers on your side too. Otherwise, you may feel isolated and al Is there a queer community center near you? Maybe check out meetup.com to see if there are casual dinner groups you can join. Take a woman's study class or - great way to meet queer women. Volunteer. Make connections. Find the community. Once you've done that, you'll start finding answers to those growing pains questions.
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  • venning

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    2011-02-10 4-51-12-

    Well I never thought about it quite like that. I guess you are right, dang I thought I had finished puberty YEARS ago. lmao! I have looked up some centers around here, but there doesnt seem to be much help in the close vicinity. This makes it hard for me to know which step to take next. Thank you for the advice. :)
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    sievert

    Newbie
    Posts: 7

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    2011-02-10 18-36-29

    why does it feel like lesbian puberty lasts forever, while regular puberty just lasts through the teens?
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  • overmyer

    Newbie
    Posts: 7

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    2011-02-11 11-11-17

    Actually not many anymore Somewhere along the line I stopped making new male friends as I lost touch with all my guy friends that spread across the country. The one's that are still around don't appear to still be going through puberty, but I'll ask tommarro.
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  • pellecchia

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    Posts: 25

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    2011-02-11 22-34-57

    I didn't experience the typical social puberty-related growing pains through my actual puberty. Actually, I bipassed it by becoming immediately sexually active with a guy who went to college out of town, thus taking me out of the high school dating scene. In my mid twenties, during lesbian puberty, THEN I found out what real dating blunders are like.
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    jovanovic

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    Posts: 9

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    2011-02-12 16-38-33

    I mostly agree looking at guys was more like grocery shopping. Yes I had my heart broke when an engagement ended when I was 19. I never did the high school dating scene, sr year I dated a friend who was back from Nam. A good deal older than me--but not socially mature. After a few date he kissed me while we were praying. I knew at that point we were just friends. I was aware that upon entering queer spaces for the first few times at the age of 50, was much like a few of those jr high dances must have been like for my friends. The jr high dances presented me with confusion about options that did not touch my emotions well. The womens spaces presented me with more of the idea of being in a flower shop or a craft fair. Sights, sounds, aroma, color, texture, estrogen. I admit to watching a little of the soap opera L word. Mostly bad--but some really good representations of women having that first experience entering queer space.
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    sainsbury

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    2011-02-12 23-10-30

    i find it interesting that Lowfemme made the comparison to 'grocery shopping'... i read an article about how men and women differ in evaluating potential sex partners. as i remember, it said men just want someone to have sex with. [we know that!] women invest more into evaluating partners and that they may not even have a hard-wired orientation. --- these are my words, but that's how i interpreted. the article was probably in an issue of Gay & Lesbian Smartbrief.
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  • figueras

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    2011-02-24 0-55-53-

    I'm always a bit rankled at studies and articles that make sweeping pronouncements about the differences between men and women. Generalizations apply to no
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    Peta

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    Posts: 8

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    2011-02-24 18-22-10

    Like growing up... and being good at science, yet being told "girls don't do that, because they aren't good at it"? The implication that boys were, and only boys were supposed to do it. Same thing with math, I *was* good at it until the messages I kept getting from my peers and my teachers was that girls aren't as smart as boys in math. And thus stopped trying until recently.
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    jumper

    Full Member
    Posts: 29

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    2011-04-27 13-52-18

    i thouroughly enjoyed having my math science and engineering aptitude tests being up there with the boys'!!! S_R... you were the victim of myth, unbased in reality.
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    Fai

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    Posts: 5

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    2011-05-22 14-23-22

    I know, looking back at it I'm rather pissed. My grades suffered cuz I thought I couldn't do well, and then I never really got myself interested enough to try. I'm making up for lost time now, reading a lot of math/science stuff now (Hawking, S.J. Gould, Sagan, bits and pieces of Darwin, among others), taking classes and doing well!
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