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Pages: Seeking more advise from pro's [1]
Author Topic: Seeking more advise from pro's
maeda

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2011-02-08 19-48-34

Seeking more advise from pro's The wife and I have been experimenting with this lifestyle for 2 months. It was all her idea and she has recently told me that she had been harboring these desires for more than 10 years. Afte 2 months of play [12 - 15 times] I'm feeling like she may not be into this as much as she thinks because the only time anything happens is when I initiate it. However, for numerous years almost always the only time that sex happens is when I initiate it. I don't want to be too forceful with her about this and would like for her to initiate from time to time. She like being the Sub and I'm learning to be Dom. We both have lots to learn and I encourage her almost daily. I could turn this into a very long story that know has time for. Let's see where this may take a discussion. Thanks for your input.
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gavigan

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Posts: 8

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2011-02-09 5-43-29-

well - if she's waiting for you to initiate some people would say she's being a good sub. :) I wouldn't take her lack of initiative to mean that she doesn't want this. Chances are if she wants to be a sub, it's highly likely she *wants* you to always be the aggressor.
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  • rothfuss

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    2011-02-09 7-12-15-

    Not a pro but... I never initiate sex with my husband. I will give very subtle hints. Sometimes he misses them completely. For some reason even when I really want it I won't ask I just wait and hope. And then if it doesn't happen, I have to please myself because I didn't ask.
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  • fazzino

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    Posts: 5

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    2011-02-10 3-46-48-

    if you have really talked this out... ...i would think she expects you to be the aggressor, are you all that into it?
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    alister

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    Posts: 28

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    2011-02-10 17-32-03

    I love sex, but rarely will I be the initiator.
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    neidlinger

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    Posts: 4

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    2011-02-11 1-19-39-

    are you the top? forgive me for not knowing
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    knabe

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    Posts: 6

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    2011-02-11 15-18-54

    No, Im a bottom We're not 100% S/d though. So its not like Im waiting b/c I have no choice, he takes it whenever he can get it!
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  • jakubowicz

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    Posts: 27

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    2011-02-12 5-01-22-

    in general... ...i think it the top(who i distinguish from a a dom)wants it, he should initiate it.
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    purnell

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    Posts: 18

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    2011-02-12 7-40-38-

    My husband is necessarily top material. He definitely does all the spanking, hair pulling etc. but doesn't know a whole lot about the lifestyle or treating me a real "sub" (If that makes sense?)
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  • Barney

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    2011-02-12 13-55-41

    totally... ...but even as a top, he should be able to grab you by the hair, throw you over his knee and spank your ass while telling you what a bad little slut you are for liking your ass spanked
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    neumayer

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    Posts: 37

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    2011-02-12 19-06-38

    Wrote that on my list. I am so sending my husband here!!!
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    legros

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 18

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    2011-02-12 19-10-30

    Mmmmmm....that sounds good. He does do that but really only while we're having sex. It doesn't ever leave the bedroom. Sometimes I wish it would...
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  • Maryrose

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    2011-02-20 21-18-30

    i like useig that kind of thing... ...as an indicator that I want to start a scene...a bit of foreplay, if you will
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    wafford

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    Posts: 42

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    2011-03-07 6-31-41-

    Im sure it works :P That would get me going, for sure
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    lewellen

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    Posts: 16

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    2011-07-02 0-43-28-

    cheerful has a fine example of the other side... ...#x on her list is particularly effective
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  • laban

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    Posts: 46

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    2011-08-09 7-53-17-

    Princess or Slut How does it effect the physic [probably spelled wrong] of the new Sub [or experienced] when going from the dirty little slut to the princess after a play time? Opinions ....
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    rivers

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    2012-01-24 7-48-42-

    for me it isnt an issue... ...since I like sluts, and tend to treat them like princesses anyways...grin
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    peters

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    2012-08-01 19-10-45

    Amen, sista
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    bonadio

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    2012-12-19 3-57-18-

    Nicely put, Serre!
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    Katalin

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    2013-04-09 11-14-48

    So smart Someone in here usually has a great and sensible answer to my questions. Thismakes a lot of sense. Thanks to you and others in here I'm glad I've found this place. It's great to have a place to go where others are willing to give their time and share their experiences for the good & pleasure of all. I shall return.
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    paoli

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    2014-02-12 4-31-25-

    let us know how it works out, ok?
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  • sheperd

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    2015-06-19 4-14-33-

    she may want it more... ...but if she is trying to be a good sub, she may think being paitent is the 'right thing to do' if you dont want that, you, as the Dom, need to make that clear
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  • denise

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    2015-08-13 17-06-32

    especially if she has been researching for a while, because of the way many lifestylers frown on bratting and topping-from-the-bottom.
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  • Raul

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    2016-04-07 23-41-07

    i dont mind a a little TFTB personally ...just cuz she asked for it, dosent mean she is going to get it, or get it the way she wants
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