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Pages: Need advice for initiating Divorce or Not [1]
Author Topic: Need advice for initiating Divorce or Not
calandra

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Posts: 9

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2011-03-03 12-18-05

Need advice for initiating Divorce or Not I need help. I have been married for almost 5 years and for most of the marriage I have considered divorcing this woman. I was born and raised here in Michigan and she is from an eastern European country. She recently got her citizenship. My family loves her becuase she is very nice and sweet. But, The longer or marriage goes on, the more I see the cultural divide between us and I realize more and more this relationship will not work. I am very unhappy and been like this most of the marriage although we get along great as just friends. I have left her once in the past and decided to get back with her to try and work out my marriage and give it a 2nd chance. But I feel this has failed now. The thoughts of divorce consume my life. We have a one year old a house together which we have in both our names. I tell her I want to leave and she just breaks down emotionally , cries and begs me not to leave. We have sex about once every other month which she forces on me through guilt. I am constantly wanting to date other women and she is watching me like a hawk becuase she knows i want to cheat, but I don't. Should I stay with this woman whom I dont love , who tries to control my life and all my decisions? I mean she doesnt even let me go to my buddies house to watch the game because she thinks i am going to see another girl. Isnt life too short for this torment? Has any other men experienced something like this?
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lyerly

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Posts: 6

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2011-06-15 15-15-43

You are an ass forces you to have sex because of guilt. are you not attracted to her? love can cross any barrier. Guys dream of having a girl devoted to them. Talk it out.
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  • stephany

    Full Member
    Posts: 49

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    2011-11-04 17-47-47

    If it was a woman posting $x says you would tell the poster to leave. Personally, I would find it difficult to be attracted to someone who tried to control my every move and who I could talk to. Oh, and the emotional blackmail? Such a turn on. To the OP: Did you sponsor her? If you can afford to support x households, I would leave. If you have the resources to free yourself, I would.
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  • parlow

    Full Member
    Posts: 37

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    2012-03-07 13-04-34

    leaving her Yes i did sponsor her through an affidavit of support. yes i can afford to break it off, i'll prolly have to buy out her portion of the house since she cant afford to buy out and also the housing situation in detroit the house will never sell so I am forced to buy her out. as for moving out I am not sure but if she gives me the guilt trip like always, then I am not gonna be around her if she's like that, which she will i am sure. Its amazing she thinks she can force me to love her, love isnt forced ya know.
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    Gaye

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    Posts: 41

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    2012-12-24 1-18-49-

    Be careful If she thinks you are going to leave, she might "accidentally" get pregnant.
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    fillingim

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    Posts: 17

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    2013-11-07 23-12-02

    I'm careful becuase were not making love She cant get pregnant without my sperm in her.
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  • doby

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    Posts: 18

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    2014-03-05 18-42-51

    Once every other month might do it But yes, abstinance significantly reduces the chance of pregnancy :)
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    Annick

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    Posts: 56

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    2015-07-07 7-00-11-

    What's the real reason? From your intital post, I didn't hear any real reason why you would want a divorce. Had I heard substance abuse, physical abuse, cheating, etc, I'd say go ahead & "get yourself free" but it just sounds like you just don't want to be with her anymore. Having a (& such a young one) together adds another reason to stay. But I also know that when someone is unhappy, they'll do whatever they must to find that gratification elsewhere, so if it's that bad, go ahead & leave now before you find someone else to fill her shoes when it'll be alot messier.
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    corry

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    Posts: 42

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    2015-12-28 12-25-36

    the real reason the main reason is this cultural divide. Now that we have the kid the divide is becoming more pronounced. Mainly friends and family. She wont let me have any friends and she wont support me moving closer to my family who has ren my sons age and I want my son to play with them, But she thinks my family is a bunch of losers and wants to stay as far away from them as possible. Her family still lives in europe. So i am here with no friends and family, and now that were family people I want to be closer to family but she dont want that. She now wants her mom to move here now that she is a US citizen and live with us(me supporting of course). Soon I wont be able to understand the language in my house. I am just touching the tip of the ice berg here theres a lot more to it.
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    kindt

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    Posts: 43

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    2016-01-21 17-26-05

    Out of curiosity, why did you marry? To me, it sounds like she wanted a meal ticket. So what was in the deal for you? Were you expecting a more submissive wife? It sounds like this was a mail-order marriage gone sour.
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