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Pages: BDSM hiding in plain sight? [1]
Author Topic: BDSM hiding in plain sight?

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2011-02-08 14-41-07

BDSM hiding in plain sight? I'm very new to this forum (a week) and have really enjoyed it. It is making me feel like my tastes are not so out-there, and that they are nothing to be ashamed of (not that I ever was really), but still it helps to see like minded individuals because nobody likes to be all alone with their thing, and this is giving me courage to pursue it more in life. My question is in regards to a correlation between being a kinkster and the person's outward appearance to the world. Personally, no I know would ever suspect that I like this sort of thing, because I am a very normal, active, healthy, almost corporate looking (but mostly casually dressed) white guy, who's actually very dominant and proper in all of my daily activities. I used to play football, and I lift weights and surf, and usually take charge of all daily situations… but I also REALLY enjoy complete submission to women, and even absorbing humiliation - that is my kink. So my image doesn't really display what’s going on in my head when it's time to play… I don't really make a convincing sissy boy with my muscles and stubble... So I have rambled.. I guess my question is, would I be considered a poser if I got more involved in the kink world, due to my appearance, or do kinksters come in all shapes and forms? Stupid question I realize now, but I offer it nonetheless. Thanks sexy-smart folks!
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2011-02-09 1-33-45-

I would! *raises hand*
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Posts: 6

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2011-02-09 4-34-47-

Good to know! :-)
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Posts: 3

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2011-02-10 1-25-56-

personally, I find the dichotomy a HUGE turn on.
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  • cappetta

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    Posts: 5

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    2011-02-10 4-18-58-

    From personal experience, the antics that happen in the bedroom and in real life don't have to be parrallel. For me, part of the appeal is that you wouldn't guess by looking, talking, or socializing (well maybe socializing), that I get my kink on with my sub. Come to think of it, as much as the visual aspect of kink is present, it's much more a mind issue than it is physical. Hope that helps:)
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    2011-02-10 18-11-05

    my quick answer I'm not sure what you mean by outwardly kinky appearance for sure. I'm assuming that you mean sort of the stereotype of all in black leather, tons of tattoos, piercings, etc. But that's really not an indication at all of kink. Now, it may be an indication that the person likes to express themselves a certain way. No issue there. other than my "kinky" hair and a few tats (not really in plain sight), I think i look rather 'nilla. When I go to the bdsm clubs, i do use that opportunity to dress up. oh and i iron my hair, i feel kinkier when my hair is straight. I'm a walking contradiction and i like it that way.
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    2011-02-11 10-37-06

    Even though I know stereotyping is BS, I guess in the back of my mind I was still thinking it. I have no tatoos or peircing, or black hair, but I agree, those things don't necessarily correlate with kink, but more so with expressiveness. There is a big difference I think. Thanks for the point!
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    Posts: 9

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    2011-02-11 21-39-38

    you are welcome get out and meet some kinky people and you will see they come in all shapes and sizes! If i could think of semi-requirement, it is having an open mind. You have to be prepared to accept anyone's appearance, just as they are going to accept your "corporate/nilla"
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  • valek

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    2011-02-12 15-33-19

    Points for you TW Kink has nothing to do with how you look. Im sure there are a lot of kinky people that like to dress up 24/7, but I think a lot of people in the scene could walk in to any business, restaurant etc, and not give off a kinky vibe. Tattoos and piercings do not necessarily equal kink :)
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    2011-02-12 16-31-43

    makes it more difficult to find your tribe
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  • Yu-Chung

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    2011-02-24 1-45-18-

    Im sorry, Im not following, what makes it more difficult to find your tribe?
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    2011-05-11 3-03-55-

    just because there's not necessarily an outward way to detect kink. You have to do a little more footwork. Not that I mind. But when i first "stumbled" upon this forum, i felt like I had found my "tribe". :-)
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    Posts: 27

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    2011-09-29 20-11-12

    There should be a sign or somehting that we kinksters can flash around to attract the like-minded. Maybe a phrase that seems innocent, but is well advertised in this circle to mean something "special"?? Something that another kinkster would recognize, but the vanilla masses wouldn't notice...
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    Posts: 43

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    2012-01-06 8-45-06-

    wait you didnt get your kinky card? maybe its in the mail :)
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    Posts: 57

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    2012-10-22 5-24-09-

    Hope so, because... I WANT to play!
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  • silvey

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    Posts: 17

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    2013-07-01 9-01-05-

    CL has been pretty decent for me to find playmates. its been a little annoying to interview them, but its working otu so far. is fairly new to me, before that i just would randomly luck otu with partners. there are subtle clues about someones preference, i find dancing gives me a good idea.
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  • lorraine

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    2014-04-06 0-06-16-

    I have plaved/responded to a few ads onwith limited success, but after my time on the kinkfo, I'm more motivated than ever to find a partner. Wish me luck, and of course, I'll be reporting back with all of the grusome details!
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  • desantiago

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    2014-10-08 9-03-36-

    dont give up i have had some seriously disappointing meetings, but some really nice ones too...which so make up for it. good luck :)
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    2015-06-20 14-27-27

    well, there's the BDSM Emblem
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    2015-12-03 23-12-33

    Oh I see Yeah, I understand completely.
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