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Pages: Girlfriend dumped me [1]
Author Topic: Girlfriend dumped me
vandine

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Posts: 2

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2011-02-08 15-06-03

Girlfriend dumped me She asked me to ask her to marry her. Or lay out a roadmap for our future together. I said I wasn't ready and couldn't give her a timeframe. I'm not sure if I ever want to get married. So she said have a nice life, took her stuff, and left. That was about weeks ago. We've been together over three years and she's been upset about our future for a while. I used to be really sad when I got dumped in prior relationships, would feel like crying or drinking or a combination of both. Now I didn't even say anything. Or her to tell her I want her. Felt like maybe there's something wrong with me that I couldn't care. Went on a couple dates but those felt weird too. Not that they were bad people but I just kept finding faults with them. But then I come home and I'm lonely. Like maybe it's the company I want more than the relationship. Sorry, just ranting I guess.
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bacchi

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Posts: 2

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2011-02-09 4-52-27-

Did you have any chemistry at all?
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  • Georgeanne

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    Posts: 3

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    2011-02-09 7-26-51-

    If I asked her the same thing Would she have answered the same thing? Because from what little I've heard, it seems like you were more friends than anything else, but she wasn't on the same page.
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    capes

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    Posts: 10

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    2011-02-10 3-55-38-

    I don't know She'd probably say I was close minded or that I was stringing her along.
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    blauser

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    Posts: 7

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    2011-02-10 6-40-24-

    Hmm, doesn't sound like much of a rant. More like a "poof." If you were together for 3 years and she's suddenly gone, but you find you don't care, then it looks like she did the right thing for both of you. I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with you, but there was apparently something wrong with your relationship. Hopefully you'll both be happier apart.
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    avolio

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    Posts: 5

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    2011-02-10 13-36-18

    I don't think she dumped you. I think she didn't get what she wanted so she stomped off to sulk and try to make herself feel better because in her mind - you don't want her. It's okay to be lonely. Doesn't feel too hot, but we can learn things about ourselves if we don't allow ourselves to panic in our lonliness. What can you do that at least used to make you feel good about life? Try jumping back into those things and be patient with what's going on inside you. It takes time for emotions to resettle after an eruption,
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    hollars

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    2011-02-10 15-39-44

    what was the problem you got what you wanted . You don't have to marry her. You don't have to do anything with her again. All she wanted was some kind of commitment out of you after 3 years . Some Idea she meant something to you. you don't have to marry someone to commit to them . How old are the of you?
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  • Andrew

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    2011-02-11 3-56-06-

    are you having a nice life? It sounds suitable that she left?I'm not sure what happened to you guys but it sounded like you didn't care too much about whether she stays or go. So she's gone to get what she wants from someone who'll give it to her.And there's nothing wrong with you.You're just turning pages through life along with your perspective on relationships and how you'd want it for yourself and who to share it with.
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  • neidigh

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    2011-02-11 13-04-22

    Bummer.
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    seale

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    Posts: 5

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    2011-02-12 0-46-55-

    * happens... * 3 years is long time to date.She was right to find out where are we, where is this going, you already know me ? While it sounding, felt harsh, she of course wasn't kidding around. ** Stay away from bars and such, don't date...for a few months, you're in relationship break up shock... Now is the time to breathe, tell your friends what's going on and you would appreciate being a third wheel, being invited over for movies, TV, for a while... Change yourself by doing something positive, and hit the gym, you'll feel better, lose a couple or tone up... *** Catch up on some reading... Do some soul searching as to what ideals give you the thinking of not wanting to be married ? Where is the fear in that thinking, from your past, your Mom & Dad, or you think you have nothing to offer some woman... **** You might find girls to hang out with, have sex, but no will want to be around you really, if they think, why just hang out if there is no future with you...? You have some work on yourself to do. Don't date girls right now, it's not fair to use someone because your scared, lonely...missing the ex'... Get a dog ! Buddy is there everyday...
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    botsford

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    Posts: 16

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    2011-02-12 19-19-15

    So how long do you think she should have to wait to get what she needs?? 3 years is a long time for you to say you cant lay out a road map to a future. It sounds really really selfish like your the only person who matters. She was strong and healthy enough to say you were not meeting her needs and she left to find someone who would. I hope she finds a man who will love her enough to give her what she needs. I am really proud of her and the steps she took to live the life she wants. Wasting time with you while you string her along is not healthy. She deserves better and if she were here I would be her cheerleader!!!
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    Philis

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    Posts: 15

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    2011-03-02 3-07-22-

    Get a dog.
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    stahlberg

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    2011-04-01 13-47-45

    So he can ignore the dog needs and only think of himself? No dog should have to suffer that fait.
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    bettinger

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    2011-05-12 16-40-20

    I fail to see the problem It sounds like you got all you wanted. She wanted a commitment and for some to show her she was important in their life. You didn't want to do that. You didn't want her. You wanted the commitment free life, you got it.
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