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Pages: Thieves [1]
Author Topic: Thieves

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2011-02-08 16-44-04

Thieves I grew up in a logging camp where my mom worked as a cook and part time sap sucker . Times were more than tough and I wasn't big enough to work in the woods and mom was losing her looks due to her turpentine/gin addiction. I had been violated (all in good fun) by some of mom's logging buddies for years and thought that I could make a go of it in the city. My delusions of absolute grandeur and fantasies of being plowed by Brad Pitt were dashed as the only employment I could find was as a condom recycler at a Korean whorehouse. Until, I met Frank Rothststein. He was a Rabbi and a flaming homosexual poster with a penchant for dingleberries, of which I had plenty. Frank and I had good times. He would make soup out of my shitballs and I would drink mai-tais and enjoy his gagging sounds. Things were great until my mom tracked me down and started shaking me down for money. Mommy knew that all of my dingleberries were fake because I was born with a rare genetic disease that made my anus and buttcheeks incapable of creating stinky love balls for my man. I had been buying shit covered hairballs from homeless men for years and trusted my asshair guys with my life. I decided these wine swilling shitball men should kill my mom. The plan went wrong and I was forced to go underground and leave my wealthy shiteating lover. I was living on the streets and trying to sell other mens shitballs for money, things were tough but it was all I had. I had become a DINGLEBERRY hustler. Then I drank Pabst Blue Ribbon and my life is great. Thanks PBR.
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2011-02-08 21-55-49

and thats the way it was phhhhhhhmghhh...
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2011-02-09 2-44-33-

Some is reposting all my crap not me Im a liberal non-war supporter < - > 01/29 16:01:51 My mom had just passed away and dad wasnt doing too well. We had always worked the farm ourselves without any help but that summer my brother was killed in a sheep raping accident and my sisters moved to the big city to make internet porn. I was left alone trying to run the whole operation. I had no choice but to take on some help even though the farms budget was low. I contacted the local authorities and was directed to a mostly gay motorcycle gang in our area that needed some work in the off months from their full time jobs as exotic dancers/crank dealers. They were great guys and could really swallow a load either from me or dad even though he was hooked up to a heart lung machine and probably didnt want them to. Dad would squirm until he achieved an unconscious erection and then he would shoot a copious load in Spider's eyeball and we would all laugh and divide daddies meds between ouselves to keep the party going. About the 3rd month they were there I noticed several checks missing and money from the bank account. I totally freaked and realised it was my gay biker drug addicted friends who were stealing from me. I had no choice but to the law and they all got serious time after that dad passed away and I had him cremated and his ashes spread through out his favorite porn shop. While going thru the bikers things I found some kind of beer and decided to try it. Oh my the joy that permeated my soul as the bubbly liquid slid passed my tongue. What could this be? It was Pabst Blue Ribbon and since that day I have been ok and the farm is doing great. I grow a sub species of the popular African thunder fuck Marijuana on most of our property and rent the rest out to nudist pedophiles. Thanks PBR.
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  • rieck

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    2011-02-09 5-43-28-

    ripping you off... the sincerest form of flattery
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    2011-02-09 18-43-06

    Or an insult read them HAHA.
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  • Subu

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    2011-02-10 11-47-14

    so wait ... you're Ned??
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  • roesler

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    2011-02-10 15-27-49

    And the light goes on...
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    2011-02-11 8-06-29-

    Oh! You didn't know that! Ha HA!(-:
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    Full Member
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    2011-02-11 15-28-43

    Of course serre , But some is reposting them in the middle of a WAR arguement. Read some of your blog but not much I like the subtitle im doing nothing tommorow and might read it all.
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    2011-02-12 2-57-46-

    well, now we know...grin
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    2011-02-12 23-01-24

    Ned is sbb? Oh shit, I have been a fan of your humor since you came to the fo. Since you have gone green I have enjoyed your company w/out even knowing. *looks quickly around his room for the lightening bolt that he knows is going to hit him*
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  • meers

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    2011-03-07 0-36-17-

    Sorry sir I thought everyone knew
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  • dibiase

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    2011-03-09 4-18-59-

    Not your fault I just missed the post. No problemo El Neddo aka screwballbrain.
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    2011-07-04 1-28-43-

    Hes still doing it ,in a war arguement too reflecting back on my liberal upbringing < LIB-x-LIFE > x/x x:x:x I remember having to walk to the store rain or shine winter or summer to buy cigarettes for her while she lay in bed completely hung over from a night of cheap liquor and sex with of my many "uncles". It was no wonder that I started to hang out at the truckstop to hear the truckers tales of exotic places like Toledo or Oklahoma city. Our town didnt have much going on since the plant closed which was inevitablle, no really eats pickled cat anymore. Eventually due to my attraction to large unbathed men I began sucking cock for a living. It was rainy and cold when I climbed up in the cab and tried to shake off the cold, my nostrils immediatelly filled with the oh too familiar aromas of diesel, old pall-mall smoke and dried pre-semenal penis discharge. And then it hit my nose and sent a shiver down my spine and made my testicles squirm with delight. "What is that heavenly intoxicating aroma wafting about my good man?" Of course the trucker didnt answer he simply punched me hard in the Adams apple and said "Suck me you little man-whore." So it was off to work for me. I found out later as the trucker beat me close to unconsciousness for not swallowing everydrop that the smell that was still in my mind was nothing other than Pabst Blue Ribbon. Its been several years since that lifechanging night and as a result I now travel Americas highways and byways looking for a good skullfuck all the while wackin back delicious PBRs. Thanks PBR.
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