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Pages: Family Drama [1]
Author Topic: Family Drama
sperbeck

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2011-02-08 15-54-43

Family Drama Well, it’s time again for the annual trek back home to California for the holidays. I’m wondering if anyone else has a lot of family drama? Dad died 4 years ago, and Mom is single and in an unhappy long distance relationship. Brother is living with Mom and draining her resources, but got a job last month for the first time in 2 years. He’s 37 years old. Uncle recently got out of jail and is leeching off of various family members. Aunt has bad diabetes, but smokes like a chimney and drinks like a fish. Cousins are too busy trying to be turbo-Christian yuppies to have any interesting conversations with. Sigh. I wish I could get away. Would it be a major faux pas to leave later and hang out at the bars?
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semones

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2011-02-09 5-39-33-

I think it's safe to state we all have family issues. For my family things have gotten much better since my mother died in 2001. With the exception of Uncle Drunk we now look forward to getting together. I can't answer your question about getting away because my way of dealing with the issue was very direct. I'd tell my mother I'd had enough of her and leave-not mad-just leave. I suppose you could tell them you have other commitments and politely excuse yourself.
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  • palmatier

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    2011-02-09 11-23-56

    Family Drama Well, I think that you should be there for your family. I have the same kind of family dynamic except a little worse. I bet you aren't the perfect yourself. I know that I am not so perfect. Families aren't perfect. There aren't any perfect families or parents. The job is just given. Going to the bars isn't going to help you with your issues with your family. Yeah, you go to the bars. Come back from the bars still with your same family. You just deal.
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    chacko

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    2011-02-09 15-54-03

    I'll be there I never said that I wouldn't be around them or that I'm perfect. I just don't want to be around them 24/7. It's their home and I'm a guest since I no longer live there. Finally, I'm not looking for someone at a bar to help me deal with my family. If they can break out of their cycle of dysfunction, I'd enjoy the visit more. I just want to do something fun, since I live in a small town and don't leave it often. I am not big on bars and not necessarily looking for a hookup, but not sure if any other types of establishments will be open over the holidays where I can have fun by myself.
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    Larisa

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    2011-02-10 8-31-51-

    Next year stay in a motel. Then you aren't stuck at home all the time.
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  • Verene

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    2011-02-10 10-47-55

    Don't listen to these people. They seem to be saying they have it worse and stick to the family so you should too. THAT'S HORSESHIT!!! If you join the family for dinner, you've done what you need to do. Whenever you feel comfortable leaving is the appropriate time to leave. If your family just expects you to hang around and be miserable with them, then they're not really family - they're merely related by accident of birth. You do not have to suffer for their dysfunction any more than you are willing. Beyond that, have a life and enjoy it. Merry Christmas!
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  • martins

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    2011-02-11 2-03-45-

    Mine are just occasionally rude.
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  • straub

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    2011-02-11 8-40-37-

    I guess you inherited that gene from them Remember this? You couldn't even spell pedophile properly. I hope you get coal in your Christmas stocking.
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  • Marion

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    2011-02-11 16-22-04

    Was that you?
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  • al-dossari

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    2011-02-12 7-45-14-

    I'm impressed! You see your family's faults clearly. I think it would a terrible holiday if you tried to ignore them. However, having lost both parents, a lover, and other close friends, I have to say that I've never regretted any time I've spent with them even though it seemed tedious many times. I'm not suggesting you *endure* them but, if you can get passed their obvious flaws, you may find visiting with them a fondly remembered enriching experience. On the other hand, if you need physical companionship, *go* to the bars and get laid. My experience has been that guys at bars during the Holidays are hornier and much easier. Shit, I got cruised but a table of guys at Micky's when I walked out of A Different Light today. Spread the Love, if you're so inclined.
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    Bette-ann

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    2011-02-12 17-45-26

    It's wonderful that you're visiting the family Even if they drive you crazy, I still think you should give them some of your company, but limit it to small, tolerable chunks. A couple hours here-and-there between your taking care of "other stuff" and getting some space to unwind. Be polite and think of good excuses to be away...unless someone gives you flack about it. If someone gives you a hard time about being away a fair amount, you just might need to delicately level with them. "I really want to see you, but I also need some space...otherwise, I might become cranky and become poor company for anybody to hang-out with" Good luck and take deep breaths.
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