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Pages: why are mornings the hardest time? [1]
Author Topic: Why are mornings the hardest time?

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2011-02-08 17-59-04

why are mornings the hardest time? So I've got two months of a breakup under my belt. Two months of being broken up which is not the same as not talking. I've only gone a week since I last spoke to the ex (and asked her to see me and told her I love her). Since that conversation (which I ended by telling her she was cruel and hanging up on her) I have not contacted her. She ed last Monday and left a 92147 which I did not respond to. No emails. Nothing. I guess I'm feeling alright most of the time. It hasn't been very long though, so I am afraid I could just fall right back into old patterns. Calling her and berating her and being crazy jealous about her new lover and then her rejecting me and also telling me she loves me. I don't need that in my life, right? I deserve better. So why is it every morning I wake up and have to talk myself into not panicking because I miss her and my life seems to be missing something without her in it. Do I really even miss her or what is it I miss? Maybe I don't even really know who she is now. I hope I can continue to keep myself from contacting her. I'm so tired of being hurt.
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2011-02-09 11-43-26

le sigh you have to realize, you are changing because of the experience, and change is hard but it's a good thing if you learn from it. Let yourself feel good about the things that are better in your life now that they are different. Make promises to yourself about the future and enjoy knowing you have the experience, now, to keep them. Let yoursefl be upset when you need to, but not all the time... you will look back on this as a learning process and understand it was necessary to become the future, better you....
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  • drone

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    2011-02-10 6-34-20-

    thanks i know its true but damn change can hurt a lot. today i thought that if she liked me so much as i was before and not so much as i am today then why the hell did she get all up in my life and change me so much??? makes no sense, i know...
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    2011-02-10 8-48-16-

    Something that worked for me.... after being with my X for 9 yrs and two ...keep note of when you first think of her. For me, it used be as soon as I woke, then it wasn't until I got into the shower, then not until I left for work...see a pattern here? Each day it took a little longer for her to cross my mind until I went a whole day without missing her. It does take time, embrace that. As scary as it sounds, they say it takes about 4-6 months for every year you were together to get everything out of your system and be ready for a new love. Use your time wisely and look forward. Nothing will be better for you than time. Once you get on the other side you will be able to see everything for what it really was and not all the warm mushy romantic feelings of the first few months WILL see the complete picture for what it really was.
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    2011-02-10 23-20-14

    yes even recently i've been able to see things between us differently. it seems no less beautiful or special or amazing... but i see faults and problems and places where we didn't bother to look or think together... i hate it though. i don't want to see the happiest years of my life so far as some kind of sham or illusion or like it was all just some fucked up trick we played on each other.
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    2011-02-11 14-10-26

    I know it's hard to let go of the golden glow of the good times and see them with the same eyes as the bad times. That's not to say that the good times are not valuable - but keeping the illusion alive can often keep us somewhere that is not good for us. Good luck and you're not alone!
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    2011-02-11 14-12-50

    No, not a trick or a's ed unconditional love! Feel good you had that. It means you accept the good, bad and the ugly and you still look at each other all cow-eyed. It is NEVER a waste to love someone that complete...just keep the "post cards" and let the rest fade. I have two tatoos on me from the 9 yrs with my even has her NAME! Will I remove They are a part of me and what once was "us". Just because it ended in I way I had not planned, doesn't change what it was during that time. My tatoos are just public post cards of my life with her.
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  • schein

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    2011-02-11 17-21-18

    i like your way of thinking and i agree about tattoos. even when they are silly or "mistakes" they are still 'postcards' as you say or little embodiments of a 'moment' of a previous you/me
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  • hayek

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    2011-02-12 9-48-17-

    i agree as well, my gf is all about getting rid of anything that reminds her of any exes, but I feel differently, i feel like they are still a part of who i am today... i dont want to forget those things I learned
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    2011-02-13 22-28-41

    Yep. I learned SO much from all of my ex's and I wouldn't have not known them. It's the adjusting to the new situation that is hard. I thought she'd be in integral part of my life forever, and that's not going to happen. Hard to give up on the dreams... Anyway, thank goodness I have a job that is ing me now, keeping me busy and keeping my mind off my problems. Off I go... Good luck to all...
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    2011-02-22 18-18-48

    hi lala Can I you lala? If you are already able to see things differently, that's a very good sign. Some people lose all perspective once in a relationship, or when a break up happens. The shock of a breakup can cloud your thinking. What you had with her is not an illusion. Forget what her intentions and actions were, just know what yours were. You can only be responsible for your feelings and actions. If she was a jerk, it's on her. But loving someone is not an illusion, and only a testament of the capacity you have to love. It sounds corny but it really is true. Dont short change yourself of that because things did'nt work out for you as a couple. It seems to me you have quite alot of love in you to give someone, and that's a very nice quality to have. You're going to make someone very happy one day. Someone that deserves to have you, that can reciprocate in a mature and healthy way. Look at that relationship as training wheels to get you ready for the one that will treat you right. When you get over this you will look back and realize it was a good thing it ended and she may have done you a favour breaking up with you, because relationships take work. You seem like someone who's not afraid of work. She seems from what you have said, like someone who cant face her own feelings. Is that what you want?
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    2011-05-01 18-28-57

    hi lucky yes lala is fine :) you made me cry. i know... i know! but why do i keep feeling so sad? its so unfair that shes got someone already in her arms, sleeping with her, laughing with her, telling her she is beautiful... i feel like im the only one that is having to suffer. i know she is not crying for me. will write a less whiny response to you and your lovely words once i go outside and get some coffee and stop weeping. you are definately right about this: "You seem like someone who's not afraid of work. She seems from what you have said, like someone who cant face her own feelings." I don't know how you could have.. but you hit the nail square on the head. I am willing to work hard, sacrifice, abstain, perhaps too much so. She only wants to flow with life, live in the moment, enjoy. And she is a fucking coward. And perhaps so am I since I'm obviously afraid too.... of what?
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  • lycan

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    2011-07-07 22-24-43

    backatcha I'm sorry you are crying, but those tears are so good for you. Thank god you have the capacity to feel. Some people wont allow themselves to. Once you get over the initial pain of it, you will have found how much you have grown. Of course you feel sad, that's only natural. Breakups are without a doubt across the board universally, the WORST. It kicks up all your issues, issues you think may have been dormant, or done with. Everybody goes through it, at least once in life. We all have that someone where we look back and say: I'm healed but I can still feel the scar tissue. It just wont hurt anymore. She may be laying in someones arms, but soon you will be too. It's just a matter of time. Be gratefull you know you did the right thing. When you're time comes to get together with someone else, you can be with them and enjoy it because you you know you loved her and did the right thing and you wont have doubts and guilt. You will be free. Your ex aint free, she's just putting it off for another day. It may look like that on the outside to you, but it's just a door prize. When you feel bad just come here and hang out with us.
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    2011-11-05 10-46-00

    i don't really know what to say lucky except i hope you are right about all this optimism. i hope my sense that love is just a big lie we tell ourselves to pass the time is just a temporary result of my anger and sadness. thanks so much for your kind words and for being a friend even though you have no reason to be... I guess my only response to what you wrote here is that I am not sure what the 'right thing' to do is... and therefore whether I have done the right thing or not. Except everyone in my life is in consensus that the right thing to do now is not to communicate with her. I am trying to do that. So far so good. I wonder if she will just go from relationship to relationship forever in her life knowing that she needs to spend some time alone, and always yearning for that time alone and being single and for self-sufficiency and self-expression and never giving herself the time to do it. How sad for her. How frustrating... Or maybe she gets to have a continuous line of women who love her and I'm the sucker with the broken heart that has to wait wait wait to heal and then wait wait wait for love... sorry for rambling on.
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    2012-04-02 8-56-34-

    Really, x-x months??? That's a long time for healing. I was hoping it wouldn't take that long... Interesting suggestion about noticing when you think of her. The first month, I thought of her all the time, but now (x months later) I mostly don't think of my x (x years) until we see each other. Then I spend a couple of days feeling guilty because my life has opened up and hers has gotten much smaller since we broke up. Sigh! Thank goodness that time really does heal all wounds!
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    2013-01-26 1-49-32-

    I know what you mean?! When I heard that I was horrified, that I was gonna feel that bad for that long! I am now x months out and feel great and can see what it really was...and it's ok. Would I go back to her...never. That tells me I am healed.
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    2013-12-10 14-02-11

    so after x.x yrs i'm gonna need like a year and some to get over this *&@$%. i already knew that statistic... it don't make me feel no betta x>
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  • avolio

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    2013-12-21 14-27-13

    keeping a journal maintains sanity. particularly if you can refer back to the entries that outline what horrible things she did to lead to a breakup - the mind is made to hold onto the good times, not the hurtful times, so it helps to remind yourself why you're going through this.
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    2014-09-10 13-19-54

    most of the time it doesn't really make sense that we broke up. except that she is in alaska sleeping with someone else and i am here in puerto rico.... its a long story. (we're both grad students). we will reencounter each other again in nyc next year when we both return to school. my lists of reasons why its "best" we broke up doesn't really hold water against the beauty of what was and what could have been/could be...? but then, maybe that's all just crap and not what i need to tell myself. anyway my journaling has DEFINITELY increased A LOT and it does help to sit with the loneliness and pain and then let it go. it does make me feel better... whereas before it wasn't (before we REALLY broke up.) except i get kind of sad for myself reading all the alternately bitter and sappy shit i write.
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    2015-09-06 6-54-45-

    the healing process not everyone heals the same. while external advice is a good start, remember to trust your instincts. our bodies and minds are very good at healing. change is a part of nature with the instigating force usually being devastating and . as far as recovery time, i don't think it's the same for everyone either. statistics, facts, blah blah blah. my life has beenlesson in healing after another, and the healing time has been different for each traumatic incident. basiy, i'm just saying not to forget about your natural instincts. hope this helps.
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    2016-04-08 5-08-08-

    thanks. i got a fortune in a yogi tea bag months ago that says "when we practice listening, we become intuitive". its been on my fridge for months while i've been learning to listen. i think i am still just listening. i don't really know what my instincts are yet most of the time. its all too confused still. but yes, i appreciate what you have said here.
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