Adult finder dating

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: Adult free online dating - Today hot theme: OH TASTE AND WATCH, looking to cuddle with the rainmaybe more, pregnant women seeking men Farmingdale New Jersey
 
   Adult free online dating   Help Login Register  
Pages: Some clarity needed here [1]
Author Topic: Some clarity needed here
hawkinson

Full Member
Posts: 2

View Profile 
2011-02-08 17-39-33

Some clarity needed here I tend to clam up when I am under stress and generally don't speak to anyone, yet I am so confused right now and I need some sage advice right now. I know I am handicapped a bit in this forum because none of you actually know me. But here it is in a nutshell: As of October, have been with my gf 8 years. She is a diagnosed bi-polar. The first 3 years she went undiagnosed. Second 3, taking the wrong meds and misdiagnosed. At year 6, she is getting it right. If any of you have ever lived with a someone diagnosed with bipolar, then you may know what I am talking about. Incredibly abusive, manic, full or rage, then fine and fun. I'd bet my last dollar most of you would love her if you met her. People are drawn to her. So the only who has been wearing all of this has been me. I had enough and just snapped on day a year and a half ago. Was coming home from a business trip and pulled over a block from my house and could not bring myself to go home. I was just finished. In spite of telling her that she needed to move, she would not and did not until this past October. I know that she has been better for the last couple of years. She has changed. We are still in contact and she really, really wants us to get it together and go to councelling and get back together. I still love her or I think I may. I just don't know if I can get over the years of abuse. I am angry with myself for staying. I am confused because we click when we are together. I know that life is easier for me in general. We live in the south and I could easily pass as straight. She does not. I love that she is herself in spite of all that. I think I am rambling. Here are some outside things: We are not stressed financially. I do very well and support her where she is as well as myself. We are now 4 hours apart. We have 3 dogs that we both adore. I don't know if I should give this a go again and if I do, how do I "untense" and get past the past?
i'll be your friend and you can be mine, dating black singles Buffalo ND, Mims, Palos Park, Neodesha KS

Find Hot Sexy Girls in

pascual

User
Posts: 6

View Profile 
2011-02-09 11-09-37

Your situation is too difficult for a bunch of clueless strangers on the internet to be of much help. You absolutely need to see a therapist if you haven't yet. And you need to prioritize your own mental health. Even if you are the best person for her, she may not be the best person for you, even if she is getting the right treatment now. You are not a bad person if you decide to move on.
any local bottoms need a Cock, horny mature women Castanea PA, Burlington WA - Sturgeon Falls Ontario, Carmel Valley CA
  • Good pussy Whitefield OK
  • Erda

    Member
    Posts: 5

    View Profile 
    2011-02-10 5-56-39-

    ditto - find a therapist to help you sort it out
    Where are Denver's Big Gals?, woman wanting for man Anthony, Toxey AL, Palmerston Ontario, Catalina Foothills AZ - Toast, Madsen Ontario, Lignite ND, Desert View Highlands
    older woman search phone sex websites, St petersburg wives looking for fling.
    spargur

    User
    Posts: 6

    View Profile 
    2011-02-10 19-50-56

    Two things 1. What if you gto some counseling *alone* to help you sort out what you really want? 2. You might look for these books: Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder, by Julie Fast (who has bipolar and is married to someone bipolar) And possibly: An Unquiet Mind, Kay Redfield Jamison (a psychiatrist who's bipolar and struggled with relationships) It's a tough situation -- please follow your gut, and *please* take care of yourself.
    Masc. Vers. for same, single date Grayville - Scottsville TX, Lily Lake IL, Nunda, Adelanto CA
    zada

    Sexy
    Posts: 19

    View Profile 
    2011-02-11 6-01-58-

    Point Taken Any idea where I would start to find a good therapist? Not to be cynical, but there are a load of bad ones out there.
    Tough Mudder!, mature lonely bbw looking for men South Bend, Oakland KY - Devola OH
  • Maried female wanting for man Flatrock British Columbia
  • goodsell

    Newbie
    Posts: 6

    View Profile 
    2011-02-11 18-37-49

    Sorry, I live across the country I suppose you could inquire in your local classifieds. Or ask for recommendations at a gay & lesbian center. I want to say again what fly said, because it's important -- if you decide not to go back, it doesn't make you a bad person.
    HISPANIC BOTTOM LOOKIN FOR NOW, married people flirting Dellwood, Cass MI, West Harrison, Ancient Oaks -
    older woman search phone sex websites, St petersburg wives looking for fling.

    mcbryde

    Full Member
    Posts: 6

    View Profile 
    2011-02-12 8-29-35-

    don't get back together with her She wants to get back together. You, really, deep down, do not. Go with that. I was in a similar position with an ex. She is also bipolar. I was with her for 2 years and took the constant brunt of her temper. I finally broke up with her. Over the next year we became good friends, which we had not been during the relationship. Then she brought up getting back together and I hemmed and hawed. We went to couple's therapy session about it and after each of us has talked for a little while, the therapist turned to me and said "You really don't want to get back together, do you?" and I said "No, I really don't but I very much value her as a friend." She is my closest friend and we could have lost that had we re-entered the relationship. My advice to you: close the door firmly on ever again being in a relationship with her. But let her know you value her friendship and hope that can continue.
    looking for someone amazing :), couples looking South Sanford ME -
  • What do you want to know
  • odor

    Member
    Posts: 6

    View Profile 
    2011-02-13 18-38-05

    Here is your violin: smallest i could find! . see it?
    single and looking for my man, women looking for nsa Lakeside CO, North Palm Beach, Oak View, Wildwood Lake TN - Avocado Heights, Cortland IL, Fall Branch TN, Ningan
    older woman search phone sex websites, St petersburg wives looking for fling.
    eliason

    User
    Posts: 17

    View Profile 
    2011-03-18 2-14-04-

    Oops screwed up agn
    Time for a little game., personal matchmaking Laketown, North Laurel - Page
    hobday

    Hero Member
    Posts: 6

    View Profile 
    2011-07-18 4-13-32-

    Nush, where do things stand now? What has been her reaction to you dating? This is great advice. I think seeing her hurting is kicking my ass.
    HOGS Section 101 Row 15, woman mazon - East Lyme Connecticut
    older woman search phone sex websites, St petersburg wives looking for fling.
    meers

    Sexy
    Posts: 52

    View Profile 
    2011-12-29 11-23-27

    if you get back together with her just b/c SHE wants to and to ease HER hurt, the relationship is even more doomed than before. It is not your responsibility to take away her hurt over being broken up. Do not take that on.
    fshionable massure., 100 free dating sites Balaton Minnesota, Karratha -
    presutti

    Sexy
    Posts: 16

    View Profile 
    2012-02-22 5-29-24-

    I've actually been in your situation. Bipolar disorder can totally fuck things up as you've described. It can make you wonder what was "real" and what was just the disease talking. But it can also be succesfully treated. So here's the thing: you have to find out what it was about her was "real." Was the physical action, for example, just part of the hypersexuality? Did you love the excitement of the impulsivity? On the other hand, was what you disliked - the trust problems, the unpredictability, etc - merely the disease? Now that her disease is (seemingly) being properly managed, you'll need to find out the answers to these questions. But frankly, it sounds as if you don't feel any great compulsion to reunite with her. I'm hearing that you feel a bit guilty perhaps, but mostly relieved. I think you should do a few sessions of individual counseling around this before proceeding. It may be that you just need to be her friend, not her lover. You'll find out, but it won't happen overnight, considering all that's happened between you. I wish you luck.
    gl masc wm wanting to give nsa start, no strings attached sex adult dating Granville - Choctaw Lake OH
    papania

    Full Member
    Posts: 5

    View Profile 
    2012-03-23 3-01-17-

    Just a perspective here but just because someone is bipolar does not automatiy mean they are abusive. Sorry but the symptoms you presented, aren't the full picture. Having lived with several people diagnosed as bipolar the constant mood swings were a bitch, granted. You never knew for certain what the day would be like. But they were the most unabusive people I've ever known. Abuse does not go hand in hand with bipolar. /rant d
    cuddling and far more., sexdate dordrecht Teague TX - Louin Mississippi
  • Perfect girls Coldwater Mississippi
  • hurney

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 18

    View Profile 
    2013-01-19 11-36-52

    no need for professional help I am bipolar, and been misdiagnosed for years, on the wrong meds the whole works. Thething that has gotten me through all of this was the support of my loved ones.I think it is rare that we find thatwe click with, and after all you did manage to deal with her for x years. I understand having to get out of it, but if she is medicated properly, complying with the meds, then she shouldn't be a loose cannon as before. If you truly love her than give it another go, but slowly this time around. Try withdate and move on from there, just don't jump the gun, go slow and take it from there. Just let her know it is a trial run, with a wait and see clause.
    Anyone actually approximately meeting sometime in the future? Movie? Take your walk?, mumbai escorts Bearden AR, Scott, Auckland, Aliamanu - Warren, Junction West Virginia, Collins Ohio, Palmer Lake CO
  • Horney black girls Nederland

  • Related Posts

     

    Report Abuse

    Valid CSS! Powered by SMF 1.1.11 | SMF © 2006-2009, Simple Machines LLC Valid XHTML 1.0!