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Pages: bringing kink in to a non kink relationship [1]
Author Topic: Bringing kink in to a non kink relationship

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2011-02-08 16-18-49

bringing kink in to a non kink relationship I've been with the same girl for 4 years now. we used to participate in a little kink together (rimming, other anal play, etc) but now it seems like she's not in to it. Recently I've talked to her about it and she'd been "tickling" my backdoor, but not insertion or anything else. does any have any ideas on how to progress our play or maybe add new things to our repertoire?
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2011-02-09 6-54-47-

just keep talking
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  • Merline

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    2011-02-10 3-00-55-

    Don't speak in generics tell her what you'd like to do and get her permission or agreement to do so.
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    2011-02-10 16-20-59

    what do you mean by generics?
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  • rohana

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    2011-02-10 16-35-01

    Instead of saying that you'd like to get kinky together again, do more kinky things (the generics) instead say exactly what it is you want, if you haven't already.
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    Posts: 12

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    2011-02-11 0-20-05-

    IE instead of saying i would like to try some rougher stuff, say i would love it if you spanked my ass until it was black and purple...
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    2011-02-11 14-44-00

    i've definetly said what i want i think she needs more convincing.. even bought her a riding crop for her bday recently because she's recently told me about a little spanking fetish that she has. I'm hoping that being open to her fantasies will help her be more open to mine. does that seem reasonable?
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  • grass

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    2011-02-11 18-59-32

    Do her fantasies include spanking you or her to be spanked by you? Did you tell her exactly what you want or do you THINK you told her what you want. What did you say to her?
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    2011-02-12 9-24-23-

    she likes to spank me not be the receiver of spankings. i've told her what i want, and it's nothing that we haven't done before. it's just been a while...
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    2011-02-13 21-25-36

    But what did you say to her to indicate you wanted more? What were the words?
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    2011-02-18 0-32-11-

    Why don't you ask What her ideas were to improve the situation. Maybe she will suggets something that will surprise you.
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  • mancuso

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    2011-04-03 13-08-50

    I'm afraid that isn't TELLING her what you want. That's a conversation akin to, "I really liked that bed and breakfast, we should go there again, sometime." What you want to say is, "would you mind rimming and fingering my ass again? I loved it when you've done it before and I'd REALLY like to have it happen again. Maybe this week you could sneak it in on me as a bit of a surprise?"
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  • Gerhard

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    2011-09-01 5-13-46-

    i suppose that's more direct but still not TOO direct. it's a fine line to balance. We have great sex, and I love her dearly. I just want to turn it up a notch or x in the bedroom... or anywhere else.
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    2011-10-19 6-56-00-

    I hate that quid pro quo crap. I want this ________ and that's all that should be said. If she wants something that you aren't doing then she should be saying "I want this _________" Learning to communicate with another is the biggest part of a relationship in all aspects.
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    2012-05-13 19-14-57

    exactlty, that's why i refuse to go down that road. we're pretty good at communicating for the most part. our sex life is good, but i'm just trying to get things to be fresher, newer feeling again.
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  • mcadow

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    2013-03-01 8-44-28-

    communication watch porn together write her fantasy stories about what you like ask her what she's like to try
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    Full Member
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    2014-01-06 3-50-46-

    she doesn't like porn at all.
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    2014-11-28 8-53-19-

    How about erotica? Could you send her some links of stories you like?
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    2015-09-22 9-24-13-

    i'm not sure i know she's not a fan or porn, or me spending time cruising the web for it. so i refrain, because what i have at home is pretty damn good. i'm not sure how she'd perceive it if i sent her erotica, thinking she would lump it in to "porn". you know?
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